I AM, because you love me

Driving alone in the mountains, mantra silently rides on my breath.  The windows are down and the sun-roof open, the wind cool and crisp on my skin.  The sun’s reflected light off autumn’s intensely colored leaves momentarily takes my breath away.   My heart opens wide and I experience a fullness of delight that I have not felt in a while.   A message waits on that moment in time, “I AM, because you love me!”

What is imparted in Silence is not intellectual knowledge only, but a kind of direct experience, the realization of a truth through living it, an answer to an unspoken question.   The  “I AM” in me, is Self-sustaining strength and healing, manifesting in my mind and body.   It is Joyous Enthusiasm.

It seems to me it is this I Am Presence that solves all things and answers all doubts and reveals what needs revealing at the proper time.

Yoga tells me that to know the reality of the world and myself, I must consistently go beyond the physical and mental surface.  Only by diving deep can I come to know the hidden powers that control my world.   I can and in fact must learn to see the Self or Cosmic Spirit in order to become attuned to its Universal Will.   To do this I must follow the Universal laws and do the work, assigned to me.

Universal laws require us to  follow the path of Supreme Knowledge, to see the play of the Universe through every event and behavior of every person.   It requires that we respond to every circumstance pleasant and unpleasant with equanimity.   One must learn to be  accepting of, yet unaffected by, joy and sorrow.   Only in this way will the truth and the purpose of our life be revealed.  Only then will we be raised out of our present human condition and become attuned with that one with that existence of all Goodness or state of Being, Consciousness and Bliss (satchidananda).

I do not doubt the existence of a Cosmic Being, but what if a person does doubt that such a Being exists.   One of my sons doubts this existence, or perhaps more accurately doubts that a Supreme Beingness can or will take him single-handedly out of his present imperfect state of affairs.   How is the ordinary person living in the world that seems more greedy and dark, than divine and delightful expected to develop unswerving faith that some kind of Divine Goodness and Light is supporting him personally, on this immensely, tragic world stage?

I tell my son to be still and to trust his Heart.   He believes if such a Cosmic Being exists that the  intellect should be capable of touching or at least conceptualizing it.    He relies, as all of us do, on his intellect and believes the intellect is certainly more trustworthy than his heart (whatever that is).

I tell him that we must learn to rely on the Heart in order to enter into an experience with our soul.

My son has difficulty with the idea that he must, at some point, drop all reason and intellectual discrimination and rely on his Heart to experience the power of undaunted Faith and devotion.   “Without the experience of any  reality other than the pain and fleeting happiness of his heart,”  he says, ” how can he trust it?”    How is one to experience his own inner greatness or witness consciousness when he has yet to experience true inner peace, inner strength and utter inner self-sufficiency?

How do we make the link from our normal human condition to our divine nature?

To make the link from our human condition to our divine nature, we must consciously approach the divine spirit within and at the same time,  retreat from all that proves to be at cross-purposes to reaching it.   We must have peace of mind to clearly understand what produces inner and outer conflicts.  We must know what resists the connection between our mind and our soul.  We must be able to see that anything the ego affirms resists that connection.   The ego will consistently separate us from our soul and its influence.   Whenever we attempt to affirm the ego and intellect, we cut our connection with the soul and our Cosmic beingness.

What has been most helpful for me, is to understand that the soul is and has always been  my very best friend.   Unlike the ego, the soul never lead me into temptation or danger like my ego has.  And when egoism did get me into trouble,  my soul has never left me stranded there.    I have a deep and abiding love and reverence for my soul.  For that Presence, which I can only define as,  “I AM.”

I tell my son that when we remove the obstacles that keep us separated from the soul, we find ourselves left with peace and love and nearer to Divine consciousness.   And that experience has a particularly peaceful and comforting ‘feeling’ to it.

It is anger, fear, jealousy, pride, competition, resentment, pettiness, all these things, which create the great obstacles to that peace, contentment, loving presence.   Peace and love is what I believe unites me with my soul.    And neither peace nor love will stream from even the most powerful intellect.  Isn’t it the nature of the intellect to differentiate, divide and to dissect?  A Peace and love that does not differentiate, divide or dissect is the soul, shining through us.

Our Kriya Yoga sadhana or any integral practice of silent meditation and awareness can provide the internal reinforcement we need to reach the divine, but at the same time, we must give up any doubt and cynicism with regard to it.   We must develop total trust and faith in the techniques and the teachings.  For doubt and cynicism will successfully block any true progress we are making in our meditation, by maintaining that wall between our mind/sense consciousness and our inner witnessing consciousness.   Even with feelings of love and peace we will  be able to differentiate, divide and dissect.

To be ever susceptible to the influence of the soul and witnessing consciousness we must put the demands of the ego and the intellect aside.   Soulful moments are most often fleeting and can be missed unless our mind and intellect is totally absorbed in something and our heart is open.  This direct experience of, or influence from, the soul happens whenever we are totally present in the moment—we might be fully engaged in the beauty of nature or in music, or threading a needle, or mediating, or doing a higher mathematical equation.

Once a soul connection is made, thoughts may appear but they come from above or beyond our mind or intellect.   They appear to descend or flow as mind waves, but those which illuminate our comprehension in a new way.   We begin to see things from a new, wider and higher perspective, which is neither influenced by memory or intellectual reasoning.    One does not need to have a vision of Babaji or Christ or become a pillar of Light at these times.   It is just about being 100% present in the moment.

The Cosmic Being is the Self, a transcendental state of Supreme Consciousness and Supreme Bliss.  Perhaps the way to begin is simply to have a mental conviction of this.    Of course, I tell my son, if you desire to meet Masters, it is possible, but there is one requirement.   You must expect to meet them.   This is immensely helpful.   Why not expect to meet them either in dreams and meditations, or in person, even if you do not recognize them, when you do.

Love and wisdom are two sides of the same quality that seems to describe the state of oneness, of the Cosmic Being.   The wisdom has nothing to do with the intellect but is more like concentrated know-how.   One loves powerfully and has faith in a power much greater than oneself.   Such love and wisdom arises when the mind is engrossed in the prana and is concentrated within the soul.   The mind becomes like an all-engulfing fire and is consumed by it.  The mind becomes purified of judgment, cynicism and pettiness.   And all that is left is wonder and delight,  humility and reverence.   Nothing more is required for life.

The purified mind becomes eager and receptive and this allows wisdom from the soul to arise to answer the questions, prayers, desires of the heart and body.    The mind does not have to conceive a question, nor does the lips  have to verbalize it.   The answers just come out of nothing.  The mind must just go inward daily for one to hear what one needs to know, or perhaps deserves to know.  Without that inwardness, the mind and senses will be  too noisy for one to hear what the soul has to share.

Yoga Philosophy (Samkya) states that within each of us, there is a force that creates and sustains all life and directs the whole of our outer and inner Universe.  This involute called the tattva guna or Guru Principle existed before the Universe was created and just like the elements of earth, water, fire, air and ether, it has been apart of creation ever since.   The Guru Principle or Cosmic Being is within each and everyone of us, as the inner Self.   So It is within me and too, It is within my son, whether or not he accepts it.

The Self is perfect and pure Existence of Sound, Light, Vibration.  And the way to the Self is through thinking, saying and living in Truth.  To do that requires us to be humble, innocent, agenda-less and loving.    However, it is not until we awaken to the fullness of what Love is, that we receive Wisdom.   Such knowledge allows us a wider perception of the world at large and a new understanding of our personal self and life.   We begin to notice the Divine acting everywhere in everything and wonder how we failed to see it previously.   True transformation cannot penetrate the physical body, words, thoughts and actions  and the events of our life, until our true nature– Love, agrees that it shine on its own accord.

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