Dancing through the holidays

Wednesday, this week, we went to see Avatar on Imax 3D.   Oh, my, what an experience it was!    Govindan and I with my 3D-tech-savvy sons and Carl’s most creative wife.   We were all blown away.   We are all movie buffs, although I find that most movies I see these days are most forgettable.    Avatar is epic and not easily forgettable.    I want to take my Father to see it!   He passed away almost a year ago, but for the first time, I found myself thinking that I wish he had lived just a year longer and had not missed this!    He would have loved it and I would have so loved watching him, watch this movie.

Each of us left the theatre walking with a lighter footfall and seeing that the need for change is a serious matter indeed!  Just a movie of course, and yet Avatar left us asking the question, “what will it take for us collectively to transcend our conditioning?”   What is required to develop true harmony from within and without?   Avatar does, I believe, develop the concept of harmony beautifully and is a modern day kind of  Bhagavad Gita.   Hope of universal peace and harmony filled our Christmas stockings—Hope that even in a no-win situation, there is the potential for all to be enriched.   Can harmony, humility and modesty transform and metamorph us into more  finely crafted human beings?   The movie is bound to stir up a clash of ideals.

In meditation that night I looked at my own nature and life, at where  stagnation, indignation,  selfish motivation or lack of compassion may lay festering and I vow to correct mistakes .

…It was a delightful Christmas. The family was together and everyone was in good humor and in sync with each other.    The house was warm, noisy, light-filled and smelled of candles and cooking.    We took hours to unwrap the few presents we gave each other,  put on our new pajamas and hung out reading most of the day.  We took a long walk, and enjoyed a wonderful DVD, a German movie, Enlightenment Guaranteed about two lonely German men who lose themselves in Tokyo to find themselves, at a Zen monastery in Monzen, Japan.  We laughed a lot the whole day long.

On the new day, the feeling of quiet stills my mind; thoughts, feelings and imagination presently in sync.  I want for nothing.  My desires revolve around getting in that long, daily walk and seeing my family around me happy.  I am feeling content. I have no ambition to realize more.

In meditation, I see my goal…a mountain, soaring, yet as deep as it is high and abiding.  Aspiration to be firmly footed in the here and now, with a constant 360 degree view of the multicolored tapestry on an ever-changing landscape, rich with possibilities and ever-ready for even the most mundane, to be revealed as a miracle.  Each step I take up the mountain is deliberate.  I am rarely sidetracked by shortcuts these days, as I know there are none.  Although grateful for what is given or taught along the way, I find I am choosing to lead myself and remain focused on my committed course, come what may.

Is spiritual maturity more than deep and unswayable silent knowing, developed over time, rather inconspicuously?  For most of us it seems to comes late in the autumn of life.  It is dependent on learning from one’s own observances, own mistakes and on the degree of detachment and discrimination we can experience in every moment.

Regular maintenance– sticking to a routine Yoga/Meditation practice, I find, supports my stability.  It restores balance and provides relief from the pressures brought on by my routinely, overtaxed mind and overextended emotions.   It is routine stillness and meditation that allows me access to insights and oversights.  This is what  gives me an overview of each day and gives me, thank goodness,   a chance to hit the refresh ‘button’ and began the next day anew.

I see I still have work to do.   A sense of rigidity in shoulder and attitude make me want to withdraw and sometimes even feel alienated or  misanthropic.   Sometimes I  fail to observe some outer event unemotionally, but,  make note of it in the ‘slip and fell’ journal, I carry with me.   I seek to someday witness everything within myself, as the mountain would observe the changes in the weather.

Consistent rigidity in the mind and body cause patterns that contracts energy….hmmm.  A note in my journal…Became aware of a new rigidity in my emotional body; backed away and gained perspective on what is required to untie that knot…  This one will take patience and persistence!

This time of sadhana is a time of dispersion.  It is a subtle, yet potent influence.    My routine includes things that have the capacity to disperse tensions, which melt, scatter, or dislodge the obstacles and rigidities presently hindering unity and harmony within myself.

Spiritual maturity allows us to remain gentle and detached when dealing with our emotions.    It requires that we deal with them as they arise.    Rejected feelings tend to fester and cause impatience and disharmony in the body.  A sense of detachment will not close us off.   It will not make us cold and uncaring or aloof.  For it does not cut us off from the natural flow of prana, it opens us to it.   A sadhana of detachment and discrimination throws open all the closed doors of our consciousness to create a bridge between our inner and outer being.

Being gentle, kind and compassionate towards all, including our self opens honest communication between the mind, heart, emotions and even the connective tissue of the body.    I have been nourishing myself at deeper and deeper levels over the past few months to try to heal an injury in my shoulder.  Each day I have  to first, admit that I still have an internal conflict, second, I initiate a most sincere intention for reparation, and third, I am  beginning to express that intention in a relaxed and sympathetic way.  And slowly,  I am healing.

Thinking back, the process amuses me. I am reminded of scene from Avatar. Seeking the Self  is a little like docking the ends of a three pronged wiggly tail into one’s own Mother Tree.   At first the relationship is a little rocky, that is, before the real dance begins.

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